Late last month, North Point Community Church hosted the Unconditional Conference, billing the gathering as an event “for parents of LGBTQ+ children and for ministry leaders looking to discover ways to support parents and LGBTQ+ children in their churches.” It would stake out a “quieter middle space” on a contentious topic, the organizers said.

As critics were quick to note, the Atlanta-area conference featured speakers who are either in same-sex relationships or supportive of those who are, and on Sunday, North Point pastor Andy Stanley preached a sermon responding to criticisms of the event. That message is now available online. (Stanley delivered it twice, and outside recordings of both services have been posted elsewhere.)

Stanley spent much of the sermon providing the backstory to the conference, which was developed to meet pastoral needs both of young people in the church wrestling with same-sex attraction and parents in the church whose children (who themselves were often—but not necessarily—adults) were coming out to them. He argued that this pastoral purpose warranted involving these particular speakers, outlined what he teaches about sexual ethics, and spoke to how churches can move forward on this issue. Unfortunately, though Stanley articulated a commitment to a New Testament sexual ethic, he also seriously undermined that very teaching.

Stanley outlined his understanding of Christian sexual ethics with three directives:

1. Honor God with your body.
2. Do not be mastered by anything.
3. Do not sexualize any relationship outside of marriage.

Biblical marriage is between a man and a woman, he said, noting that every New Testament text addressing homosexuality teaches that it is a sin. “It was a sin then,” Stanley said, “and it is a sin now.”

This is what has always been taught at North Point and will continue to be taught there, he added. But both before and after this portion of the sermon, Stanley contradicted that ethic.

The most controversial conference speakers were Justin Lee and Brian Nietzel, whom Stanley described as “two married gay men” who are also “Christ-followers today.” They were invited to speak—and had spoken at previous North Point gatherings—he said, because their stories of growing up in church environments while experiencing same-sex attraction would be “instructive and inspiring.”

But to be in a same-sex relationship (whether recognized by the state as a marriage or not) is to disobey Jesus, not to follow him. Jesus defined marriage as being between a man and a woman (Matt. 19:3–6) and the sole permissible context for sexual behavior (Matt. 15:19–20 and parallel references, where “sexual immorality” in our English editions is a translation of the Greek word porneia, an umbrella term for all sexual activity outside of marriage).

This teaching is consistent throughout Scripture, and a same-sex union clearly contradicts it. By being in such a union, Lee and Nietzel are living in ongoing, unrepentant disobedience to Christ. And, “If we claim to have fellowship with [God] and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth” (1 John 1:6).

The decision to invite these speakers fares no better when examined through a pastoral lens.

Lee and Nietzel were invited because of their stories, Stanley said, because they’d been where many church kids now are. That may well be true—but is that a good reason to invite them? Why not invite speakers who grew up in church, recognized their attraction to the same sex, and then went on to live in obedience to Jesus, whether through faithful singleness or faithful biblical marriage? Speakers with that story could offer the same personal insight about their childhood experiences without implicitly validating a trajectory toward same-sex relationships.