*Editor’s Note: In the year 2000, the Sitcom, “Frasier,” shocked the nation with the boldest episode on race in Sitcom history. Kelsey Grammer, Kim Cole, and Charles John Mahoney acted their behinds off and knocked it out of the park — so did the writers of the show. You can read the “Frasier” script below by navigating the side-to-side arrows and the up-and-down arrows and you can also navigate by using the bar at the bottom of the script.


Something About Dr. Mary                 Written by Jay Kogen
                                         Directed by Will Shriner 
Production Code: 7.16
Episode Number In Production Order: 159
Original Airdate on NBC: 17th February 2000
Episode filmed on 11th January 2000
Transcript written on 13th June 2000 
Transcript revised on 1st June 2001




·  30 Minute Category: Jay Kogen



·  Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Kim Coles

Transcript {nicholas hartley}

Act One.

Scene One - Café Nervosa.
Roz and Frasier are sat chatting.  There are color charts on the table.

    Roz: Why did I ever decide to redecorate my bathroom?  They give 
         you about a thousand decisions to make.  After a while, you 
         can't even tell the colors apart.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, perhaps my discerning decorative eye can be of some 
         assistance, let me see here. 

He arranges three white panels in a row on the table.

Frasier: This one's Ecruel, that's Eggshell and this of course is 
         Nolove White.
    Roz: Very good, Frasier.  Now let's see how you do on the color 
         side. [turns them over]
Frasier: You know, Roz, I do hope you don't spend your entire vacation 
         redecorating.  You know, you should get out, you know, have 
         some fun, maybe even take a cruise?  You don't want to stay in 
         your apartment cooped up with a bunch of sweaty workmen. 

Roz gives him a glance and he realizes.

Frasier: Bon Voyage.
    Roz: Thank you, and don't worry, Chuck Ranberg said he'd take 
         over for the week-
Frasier: No, no, absolutely not, Roz!  The man's speech impediment 
         will make me giggle all week long.
    Roz: Show a little compassion! 
Frasier: Oh come on, you try dealing with a call screener who says, 
         "Doctaw Cwane, we have a kweptomaniac on wine fwee."
    Roz: Well, who do you want to use?
Frasier: Well, actually, I was thinking of reaching out to the 
         community.  You know, I was guest speaker last month at a 
         program called "Second Start."  They offer career training 
         for people who are stuck in tedious, low-paying jobs.  And, 
         em, well, I'd thought I'd give the job to one of those 
    Roz: That's a great idea, Frasier.  Sounds like a great program.

Chuck Ranberg enters.

[N.B. Chuck Ranberg is the name of one of the show's writers.]

Frasier: Oh dear, there's Chuck Ranberg.  Roz, you've got to tell him 
         he doesn't have the job.
    Roz: Why can't you tell him?
Frasier: I'm sorry, I can't hear the man speak without just descending 
         into giggles.
    Roz: Oh, you are such a child!
Frasier: [mumbles hurrying her]

Chuck approaches them.

  Chuck: Hi, guys.
    Roz: Hey, Chuck, how's it going?
  Chuck: Oh, tewwible, Woz!  My wife was in the Cawwibean and she weft 
         me for a Wastafawian!

Roz starts laughing uncontrollably as Frasier pats her arm trying to 
cover up by pretending she is crying.


Scene Two - Radio Station.
We see a Seattle tram pass by with an advert promoting Frasier's 
show. There is a picture of Frasier and a slogan with the words "I'm 

CUT TO: The Studio. 
Frasier is talking to the temporary call screener, Mary Thomas, a jolly 
black woman of around thirty years.

Frasier: We only have a couple of minutes before the show, so listen, 
         tell me a little bit about yourself.  How did you get 
         interested in broadcasting?
   Mary: Well, after I got laid off from the bakery, I guess I had 
         some free time.  So I took a few different night school 
         courses and when I got to the one in radio, it all clicked.
Frasier: Oh, well, isn't that funny?  You know, I had almost exactly 
         the same experience.  I first discovered psychiatry in Dr. 
         Badgley's epidemiology seminar at Harvard.
   Mary: Except I bet you didn't walk though a metal detector to get 
         to class!
Frasier: No, no, but, you know, I did have to pass under a dangerously 
         unbalanced portrait of Alfred Adler in the Rotunda! [laughs]
   Mary: We are practically separated at birth!
Frasier: Ten seconds, Mary, coming up.
   Mary: Oh, I'm so nervous.
Frasier: Oh, you'll be fine, just relax.
   Mary: Okay. [sits in her seat as Frasier sits in his]
Frasier: [on air] Hello, Seattle.  This is Dr. Frasier Crane and I'm 
         listening.  I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce 
         someone who's going to bring her own flavor to the show 
         this week while Roz is gone.  Say hello to Mary Thomas. [Mary 
         nods; encouraging her to talk] It's great to have you with 
         us, Mary. [Mary only smiles] You know, we want to get right 
         to your calls, folks.  So, we'll be right back after this.

Frasier cuts to commercials as he goes into Mary's booth.

Frasier: Mary, I should mention that you should feel free to speak on 
         the air.  You know, Roz often chimes in from time to time. 
   Mary: Oh, I can't believe I messed up so quickly.
Frasier: Oh, no, no, no, not at all, not at all.  Just promise me that 
         you'll speak up when it feels right.
   Mary: I will!
Frasier: Okay, great, I'm sure you have excellent instincts.
   Mary: Five seconds.
Frasier: Right.

Frasier goes back to his seat.

Frasier: [on air] And we're back.  All right, Mary, who's our first 
   Mary: [emphasized] Maria! [Frasier urges her to carry on] Er, 
         she's thirty-six years old... married five years... and 
         her husband's been staying late at the office so he can 
         meet with his secretary.
Frasier: [happy for Mary] That's the way to do it! [realizing] 
         I mean, I'm sorry, Maria, em, I'm Listening.
  Maria: [v.o.] Hi, Dr. Crane.  Anyway, he's having an affair and it's 
         not his first.  This has been going on since we were 
         newlyweds.  How do I get him to change?
Frasier: Well, Maria.  You of course know it's impossible to force 
         anyone to change.  But you can work to change yourself. 
         Usually women that tolerate this sort of behavior from 
         their husbands are suffering from low self-esteem issues, 
         you may need some counseling to resolve those issues.  Let 
         me ask you a couple of questions...
   Mary: May I say something?
Frasier: Yes.
   Mary: Maria, Dr. Crane is right.  You must make a change.  And the 
         first thing you change is the lock on your front door. 
Frasier: [not too pleased] What?
  Maria: Oh, listen, there's plenty of time for counselors, but at 
         six o'clock locksmiths start charging extra, so you get on 
         it, girlfriend.  You know, my Grampa Willie used to say, 
         "Nothing stops a man from playing the field faster than a 
         night out on the lawn."  Okay?  Okay!
Frasier: Oh, thank you, Grampa Willie!


Scene Three - Radio Station — Some Time Later
Mary is giving more counseling.

   Mary: Looky here, Tony.  You're thirty-five years old.  Now, your 
         parents only had you for the first eighteen, so if you want 
         to start blaming someone, maybe you need to blame yourself. 
         Okay?  Okay!
Frasier: Actually, chronic rage problems usually stem from childhood...
   Mary: All right, Dr. Crane, we're all out of time.
Frasier: [looks at clock] So we are.  Well then, this is Dr. Frasier 
         Crane, saying goodbye Seattle, and good mental health. [goes 
         to press button]
   Mary: And tune in tomorrow!

Frasier angrily punches the button with a bemused look.


Scene Four - Frasier's Apartment.
The apartment is empty except for Daphne as she opens the door to 
Niles who is carrying a certificate.

  Niles: [full of the joys of spring] Hello, Daphne.
 Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, you're in a good mood today.
  Niles: Hmm-mm, after six long weeks I have finally received my 
         yellow belt.
 Daphne: Oh, aren't you lucky?  I ordered some more Capri pants two 
         months ago and I'm still waiting.
  Niles: No, no, no.  As this handsome certificate will attest, I've 
         finally attained the second level of kickboxing.
 Daphne: Oh, congratulations.  What made you take up kickboxing?
  Niles: Well, in order to protect Mel.  Er, as you know, she's a 
         plastic surgeon.  She has a habit of slipping her card to 
         total strangers who she feels could use her services.  So far 
         no harm done, but... [pours sherry]
 Daphne: But it's only a matter of time before you get your lights 
         punched out?
  Niles: Exactly.  It almost happened last week with Marjorie Dunsmore. 
         Luck was on our side, but next time there might not be a 
         walker to kick over, so... [beat] I think Dad'll be properly 
         impressed when I demonstrate my precision in footwork.

Niles demonstrates to Daphne and gets a little too close to the 
Chihuly on the side.

 Daphne: Oh!  It's very impressive, Dr. Crane.  You know, I just 
         remembered the Chihuly needs a good dusting.
Frasier: [enters and notices] Daphne, I thought you cleaned that 
 Daphne: Oh, did I?
Frasier: Oh, hello, Niles.  What brings you here?
  Niles: Here to demonstrate my newly acquired feet [high kicks 
         shouting "hu-ho!"] of fury!
Frasier: Carry on, Daphne. [pours a sherry as Daphne exits to the 
         kitchen and Martin enters and sits in his chair]
  Niles: Frasier, Frasier, who was that woman on your show today?
Frasier: Oh, that was Mary Thomas, she's filling in for Roz this 
 Martin: It seemed to me like she was filling for you!
  Niles: You're normally so particular about what happens on your 
         show.  I'm surprised you let her go on like that.
Frasier: Well, I started to say something and then I thought, well, 
         it might be a bit condescending.
 Martin: [sits] I know why you didn't say anything; cause she's black!
Frasier: Oh, that's ridiculous, Dad, race has nothing to do with it.
  Niles: Oh, come now, Frasier.  You can't deny a certain measure of 
         guilt, living as you do in your exclusive lily-white world.
Frasier: Niles, owning the CD of "Ella sings Gershwin" does not 
         qualify you as a soul brother!
 Martin: You know, Frasier, there's such a thing as being too sensitive 
         about this stuff.  Now if it was Roz blabbing on instead of 
         this Mary, you'd tell her to put a sock in it, right?
Frasier: Well, I suppose so, but, you know, this is different, Dad. 
         She's just starting out, I didn't want to squelch her 
 Martin: Because she's black.
Frasier: Dad, please, will you just stop saying that?  Anyway, I will 
         just have to deal with it for a week until Roz gets back.
 Martin: Black!
Frasier: Stop it!
  Niles: [suddenly after a pensive time] My first roommate at Yale 
         was black!
Frasier: Huntington Treadwell III!  It's hardly representative of the 
         African-American experience, Niles. 
  Niles: His father was a pioneer in Selma and Montgomery.
Frasier: Yes, I believe he built golf courses all over the South!

Frasier exits as Niles stands with his certificate.

  Niles: Oh, speaking of golf, dad, I've become quite the sportsman 
         myself. [hands him certificate] What do you think of that?
 Martin: Oh, it's very nice, son, but calligraphy really isn't a 
         sport!  More of a craft.
  Niles: No, no, no, this is for kickboxing, I finally reached yellow 
         belt, Dad.
 Martin: He-hey, what do you know?  I'm proud of ya!

Martin puts his hand up for a high-five but Niles backs away in fear. 

 Martin: No, come here. [they high-five]
  Niles: You know, it requires a lot of talent.  You have to have 
         timing and balance, the ability to strike and instantly 
 Martin: [clarifying] So you kick them and then run away?
  Niles: Yes.  My instructor says I'm a natural.  Can I show you 
 Martin: [taking his beer onto another table for safety] Yeah, sure.
  Niles: I'll show you a roundhouse kick, all right?

Niles does his maneuvers with his back to the kitchen.  Daphne enters 
from the kitchen with a tray of snacks and watches Niles in admiration.

  Niles: You sense your assailant's presence. [weird eye movement] You 
         feel your body in the space. [weird feet movement] Know where 
         your opponent is and when you're ready... you strike!

Niles kicks behind him and inadvertently knocks Daphne flying onto 
the table as she throws the bowl of snacks up behind her.  She lands 
on her wrist as Niles goes to help her.

  Niles: What have I done?!
 Martin: Are you all right, Daphne?
 Daphne: Yes.
  Niles: Really?
 Daphne: [cries] No.  I landed on my wrist, it's really throbbing...
 Martin: Go get her some ice, Niles! [he does]

Frasier enters amongst the menagerie:

Frasier: You know, Dad, perhaps you're right.  Maybe I am too 
         sensitive. [the phone rings] Daphne, could you get that, 

Frasier exits to the kitchen as the rest look around at him.

End of Act One.

Act Two.

Scene One - Radio Station.
Frasier and Mary are coming towards the end of their show.

Frasier: Gabe, you must remember that compulsive shopping is an 
         addiction.  There are no simple solutions.
   Mary: Oh, I've got one!  Cut those credit cards up right now.  Okay? 
   Gabe: [v.o.] Thank you, Dr. Mary.
Frasier: You know, I hate to be a stickler here, Gabe, but as Mary 
         would be the first to point out: she is not a doctor.
   Mary: Oh, I don't mind.  Call me Dr. Mary.  You know, Latifa's not a 
         real Queen, right?  

[N.B. Kim Coles starred with Queen Latifah on "Living Single."]

   Mary: Oh, you know what, doll babies, we're all out of time for 
Frasier: [looks at clock] So we are.  Well then, this is Dr. Frasier 
   Mary: ...and Dr. Mary!
Frasier: Saying goodbye Seattle and... [quick] good mental health. 
         [presses button before she can open her mouth]

Kenny enters.
  Kenny: Hey, guys. [Mary enters to greet him] Just checking in to 
         see how things are going.
   Mary: Are you kidding, it's a dream come true. [exits to her booth]
  Kenny: [closes door between booths] So, er, you and Mary, what do 
         you think of her?  Be honest.
Frasier: Well, I genuinely like her, she's delightful and dedicated.
  Kenny: And...?
Frasier: Well, em, she does have a tendency to just sort of jump right 
         in there whenever she likes, you know, and frankly, her method 
         of solving problems is totally different than mine. [laughs to 
         cover fear of prejudice]
  Kenny: [genuine laugh] Yeah, I'm nuts about her too. [Mary enters] 
         The contrast between you guys, that's what gets things 
         crackling.  I always thought that your show was the gold 
         standard of radio shrink chatter.  But this last week has 
         been even better!
Frasier: You think so?
  Kenny: Absolutely!  In fact, the boys upstairs would like to make 
         you two a permanent team.  Oh, who am I kidding?  There are  
         no boys upstairs, I just love this show! [imitating Mary] 
   Mary: Oh, this is so exciting, I cannot believe it. 
Frasier: Oh, me neither!
  Kenny: And don't you worry about Roz.  I'm just going to switch her 
         over to Gil's show.  The hours are better and I'll even throw 
         in a twenty percent raise!  Ah, this is going be great!  I bet 
         within a month you guys are going to have the hottest 
         ratings in Seattle!
   Mary: Oh, this is so wonderful, thank you both, really.  I'm going 
         to go call my parents. [exits]
Frasier: Listen, Kenny...
  Kenny: I know what you're feeling right now, Doc, and let me save 
         you the trouble. [opens arms] Come here, big guy! 

Kenny hugs Frasier in enthusiasm as Mary enters.

   Mary: I want some too!

Mary flings herself around Frasier, sandwiching him in. 

We CUT TO: the streets of Seattle again.  This time the tram has a 
large picture of Frasier and a small picture of Mary with the caption, 
"Frasier Crane featuring Dr. Mary"


Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment.
Niles has taken on Daphne's role in the apartment.  He has got Daphne 
settled on the couch whilst Martin sits in his chair.  Niles gives 
Daphne a quiche.

  Niles: Everything comfy, Daphne?  There you are.  This quiche should 
         hold you 'til dinner.
 Daphne: Dr. Crane, you really don't need to fill in for me, it's just 
         a sprained wrist.  I'm perfectly capable of cooking dinner.
 Martin: The hell you are!
  Niles: Daphne, it is the least I can do, believe me.  Until you're 
         fully recovered, consider me your full-time stand-in.  Oh, 
         which reminds me, Dad.  I rented your favorite video. [hands 
         it to him]
 Martin: [cheerful] Oh-ho, "Death Wish."
  Niles: Oh, I'll get your beer, I'm just frosting the mug in the 
         freezer the way Daphne does. 

He exits to the kitchen.

 Daphne: I never frost your beer mug!
 Martin: Oh, be quiet, will you?  He's feeling very guilty and we have 
         to help him work through it.
 Daphne: That is just baloney, and you know it.  Shame on you, taking 
         advantage of your son, I don't know how you sleep at night!
 Martin: Well, pretty good since he started putting a mint on my 
         pillow and a cup of cocoa by the bed.
 Daphne: He never leaves me cocoa.
 Martin: You have to fill out that little card.
 Daphne: Oh.

Daphne exits to her room as Niles enters with Martin's snacks. 
Frasier also enters from the outside hallway.

 Martin: Oh, Fras, how did the show go?
Frasier: [gives him a look] It was very educational.  Today, Mary 
         taught us how to manipulate our husbands... by withholding 
         sex.  And she taught us how to lie to our children about the 
 Martin: [laughs with Niles] Boy, that Dr. Mary sure goes on and on.
Frasier: [angry] For the last time! - she is not a doctor, no matter 
         how many times she refers to herself as one.  "A cat can have 
         kittens in the oven but that don't make 'em biscuits!" 
         [realizes] Dear God, now I'm quoting Grampa Willie!

[N.B. The drier version of this saying which Frasier might well already 
know would be the Duke of Wellington's aphorism that "a man may be born
in a stable, that doesn't make him a horse."  He grew fond of saying it
in response to questions about whether he considered himself Irish or 

  Niles: For heaven's sake, Frasier, why don't you just talk to her?
Frasier: Well, it's a delicate situation, Niles.  For God's sake, it's 
         not all that easy.  I mean, she is new to the field, she's 
         sensitive, she's eager to please...
 Martin: She's black!
Frasier: Dad, please!
 Martin: Well, you know damn well that's what this whole thing's about.  
         I don't know what the big deal is, if she's talking too much, 
         just tell her to shut her big bazoo.
Frasier: Oh, really?  How do you suggest I accomplish that without 
         sounding like a complete bigot?
  Niles: Well, perhaps a little diplomacy is in order.
Frasier: Oh, are you saying I should just choose my words more 
         carefully, is that it?
  Niles: Yes, exactly.
Frasier: [hot under the collar] Fine, fine, all right, Niles.  Just 
         exactly how would that go?!  Why don't you play me and I'll 
         be Mary.
  Niles: All right. [calm] Er, Mary?
Frasier: [quick] Frasier!
  Niles: I've been meaning to speak to you.  You know, people listen 
         to the show for my expertise.
Frasier: Oh, so my opinion's not worth anything?
  Niles: Well, I'm the one with the medical degree.  Now I want you to 
         contribute, but only up to a point.
Frasier: So, you want me to stay in my place, Massa!
  Niles: She's not going to say "Massa"...

Frasier throws in stereotypical African-American woman speech and 
gestures, including the neck rolling.

Frasier: What, am I getting too uppity for you?  You sherry-swelling, 
         opera-loving, Armani-wearing elitist!  You have no idea how 
         difficult it is for a black woman in a white man's world!
  Niles: Frasier...
Frasier: I don't think so! [breaking up] Look at me!  This is 
         ridiculous.  I have walked myself straight into a mine 
  Niles: Listen, Frasier.  I know you're trying to be sensitive, but 
         you're not showing this woman any respect if you're not as 
         honest with her as you would be with someone else.
 Martin: Right, this is your show.  When she gets her own show she can 
         say whatever she wants.
Frasier: [realizes] Wait a minute!  You know what, Dad, you may be 
         onto something there.  Gosh, I don't know why I didn't think 
         of that myself.  You know what, I'm just going to call Kenny 
         and tell him to give her her own show.  They're looking for 
         a replacement for "Let's Go Camping With Dan & Jenny."
 Martin: What happened to them?
Frasier: They don't know. [on phone] Kenny, it's Frasier.  Listen, 
         I've been thinking.  You know what, I think I'm holding Mary 
         back.  You know, a talent like hers should not be stuck in a 
         producer's chair. [happy to Niles and Martin] He agrees 
         with me!

Niles and Martin look at each other in satisfaction.


Scene Three - Radio Station.
However, Kenny got the wrong end of the stick it seems as now Mary 
and Frasier are both in the talent's booth on the same show.

   Mary: [to microphone] Oh, I'll tell you what you do, you snap out of 
         it.  You know why you're afraid to get married?  You think 
         there's some room full of hoochy mommas out there that's 
         waiting for you, in case you don't want to do the right thing. 
         Let me tell you something, the only thing you're missing out 
         on is a lot of cold and lonely nights and I tell you what, 
         there's not one person out there that would disagree with me 
         on that.

However, Louise, the new African-American call screener seems to.

 Louise: I do!  I don't think he deserves that girl and if he's not 
         man enough to take that leap of faith then she's better off 
         without him!
   Mary: Louise, is you trippin'?  Girls...

Louise and Mary start arguing over each other.  Frasier sits silently 
between the two and in boredom takes a bite of cheese.  

We then CUT BACK TO the Seattle tram.  Now it's advertisement has Mary 
and Frasier standing back to back with a little picture of Louise.  It 
now reads "They're Listening!"


Scene Four - Café Nervosa.
Frasier is having a coffee as Roz enters and sits with him.

Frasier: Hi, Roz.
    Roz: Hey, Frasier.  I listened to your show for about twenty 
         minutes today, I didn't hear your voice.
Frasier: Well, I'm playing a diminished role these days.  Although 
         still an important one.  I am the glue that holds the show 
         together - or as Mary said in her intro, "The filling in our 
         little Oreo."
    Roz: Well, it's no picnic working with Gil either.  You know that 
         little joke that he makes before every show that his taste 
         buds are insured?
Frasier: Mmm.
    Roz: They really are!
Frasier: Oh!
    Roz: Guess who had to take the claims photo after he had to eat a 
         hot slice of pizza?
Frasier: Oh God, Roz, I'm so sorry.
    Roz: You should be.  I go away for a week and you give away our 
         whole show!
Frasier: Yes, I know. [Mary enters] Oh, Lord, there she is.  You know 
         what, I could have nipped this whole thing in the bud if I'd 
         just been honest with her from the beginning.  You know what, 
         perhaps the time's come for me to just tell her the truth.
    Roz: Well, it sounds like an intense conversation.  I think I'll 
         get out of here and give you a little room.
Frasier: Thank you, Roz.

Roz moves to the next table from which she can easily eavesdrop.

Frasier: Roz! 

Roz leaves to the back of the café.

   Mary: [comes over] Hey there, partner.  Is there room for one more 
         at the doctor's table?
Frasier: Of course, Mary.  Listen, there is something I want to talk 
         to you about.
   Mary: Oh, I don't doubt it.  Could you believe Louise today?  She 
         just would not stop talking, would she?
Frasier: Well, it's not Louise...
   Mary: Every time I turned around she's just yappity, yappity, 
         yappity, yap.  I mean, what is her training anyway?
Frasier: Mary, please, just stop it, stop it.  Please, the problem is 
         not with Louise, it's with you.
   Mary: What?
Frasier: Well, the truth is, I... I don't enjoy working with you.  
         I haven't enjoyed working with you from the start. We have 
         different styles and I have absolutely no respect for the 
         advice that you give.
   Mary: I... I had no idea.  Well, why didn't you just say something 
Frasier: [pause] Well, it's because you're black. [she realizes] And 
         the truth is that I was afraid that if I said something 
         critical of you, you might react the wrong way... and I 
         feel just terrible about it.
   Mary: Maybe you shouldn't feel so bad because...
Frasier: No, no, actually, I should.  You see, I pride myself on being 
         able to communicate with just about anybody, and I couldn't 
         even be honest with you.
   Mary: Oh, it's not that easy.  You didn't want to disappoint me, I 
         understand.  If you don't like the show the way it is right 
         now then that comes first.  Like Grampa Willie used to say, 
         "If the shoe don't fit then that ain't your shoe."
Frasier: Well, you know, as much as I've come to loathe Grampa 
         Willie, that does actually make me feel a little better.
   Mary: You know, I'll let you in on a little secret.  All those 
         expressions?  I made them up myself. [laughs] I'll give you 
         another reason not to feel so bad about all this.  Today, 
         KPXY offered me my own show.  I'm going to be just fine on my 
Frasier: Mary, that's wonderful news.  So, you forgive me?
   Mary: Well, I think you could have been honest with me.  Then again, 
         if you'd told me to be quiet then I'd be back at the bakery.  
         Instead, I've got this brand-new career and this afternoon I'm 
         shopping for cars.  So I guess what I'm saying is... God bless 
         your guilty white ass!  Okay?

Mary kisses him on his forehead leaving a lipstick mark and then 
exits.  Frasier wipes it off as Roz arrives at his table.

    Roz: So, how'd it go?
Frasier: Well, actually, better than I expected.  I guess we're a team 
         again, Roz.
    Roz: Great. [they shake hands] Well, you'll have to wait a little 
         while.  I've got to stay with Gil at least until we find 
         another replacement.
Frasier: Oh yes, of course.  Well, I can find somebody.


Scene Five - Radio Station.
Frasier is doing his show.

Frasier: Thank you for your call, Jill.  Well, Chuck, who else is on 
         the line?

It seems Frasier has hired Chuck Ranberg to act as his producer.

  Chuck: Weww, Doctaw Cwane, we have Winda on wine fwee who bewieves 
         peopew are waffing at hew.
Frasier: [containing his laughter] Maybe we can just come back to 
         that one, shall we? 
  Chuck: All wightey!

Frasier controls his laughter again as we FADE OUT.

End of Act Two.


Daphne is in her bed reading "To Love And Let Go" (rather apt for her 
situation, don't you think?) when Niles comes, obeying Daphne's 
little card, with a cup of hot cocoa.  He hands it over and notices 
the book.  She is having some trouble turning the pages with the 
bandage on her hand.

He takes it and begins to read it to her.  It looks like she 
is really enjoying his company. However, Martin then comes in asking 
for his cocoa and tears Niles away from Daphne, to the disappointment 
of both of them.

Guest Appearances

 Guest Starring
 KIM COLES as Dr. Mary
 AMY LANDERS as Waitress
 TOM McGOWAN as Kenny

 Guest Callers


INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — Even as they prepare to vote on a formal ban on churches with women pastors, delegates to the Southern Baptist Convention annual meeting voted overwhelmingly Tuesday to boot one such church from its ranks.

Messengers, as voting representatives are known, voted 6,759 to 563 to oust First Baptist Church of Alexandria, a historic Virginia congregation that affirms women can serve in any pastoral role, including as senior pastor. A similar scenario played out at last year’s meeting. Two congregations, including a well-known California megachurch, were ejected from the convention. Ninety-two percent of messengers approved this year’s ouster.

The Virginia congregation has been involved in the nation’s largest Protestant denomination since its 19th century founding and has contributed millions toward denominational causes. But it came under scrutiny after the pastor of a neighboring church reported it to denominational authorities over its having a woman as pastor for children and women.

The vote came after the denomination’s credentials committee recommended earlier Tuesday that the denomination deem the church to be not in “friendly cooperation,” the formulation for expulsion, on the grounds that it conflicts with the Baptist Faith and Message. That statement of Southern Baptist doctrine declares only men are qualified for the role of pastor. Some interpret that only to apply to associate pastors as long as the senior pastor is male.

“We find no joy in making this recommendation, but have formed the opinion that the church’s egalitarian beliefs regarding the office of pastor do not closely identify with the convention’s adopted statement of faith,” said Jonathan Sams, chair of the credentials committee.

The Alexandria church is currently led by a man, Robert Stephens, but the church has made clear it believes women can serve as senior pastors, too. Stephens said his church has had women in ministry for more than 44 years and wants to continue cooperating with Southern Baptists who disagreed on this issue.

“First Alexandria stands before you today as a testament that we can maintain a fruitful partnership with churches that take a different stance on women in ministry,” he said. “We at First Baptist are advancing the gospel, and we hope that we will continue to work alongside you all.”

Afterward, representatives from the Alexandria church said they wished the SBC well. But they said they would focus on First Baptist’s own work, ranging from sending a mission team to Nicaragua to partnering on a Bible translation project to taking part in a church youth camp and other ministries.

“This is a sad moment for us, but we also recognize that God has a future for First Baptist Church,” Stephens said.

“We have good news to share with the world, and we will keep doing that,” added Kim Eskridge, the pastor for children and women.

On Wednesday, delegates are slated to consider enshrining a ban on churches with any women pastors in the SBC’s constitution. The proposed amendment received preliminary approval last year, and it requires a final vote this year to be enacted. As of Tuesday evening, 10,895 messengers were registered to take part.

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