Daniel Whyte III warns young men: “If your girlfriend or fiancée uses any of these 12 phrases, the Bible and psychology confirm she is a liar and untrustworthy—do not marry her.”
“Trust Before You ‘Put a Ring on it’: What Every Man Must Know About Lying Women in Relationships”
“Lying Lips and Broken Hearts: Daniel Whyte III’s Warning to Men Before Marriage”
“The 12 Phrases That Reveal a Deceptive Woman—Biblical Counsel for Young Men”
“Trust Before Rings: What Every Man Must Know About Deception in Relationships”
“Proverbs, Psychology, and Protection: How to Spot a Liar Before You Marry Her”
“Don’t Ignore the Red Flags: A Biblical Guide to Recognizing Untrustworthy Women”
“The Law of Jealousies and the Language of Lies: Daniel Whyte III Speaks to Men”
“12 Warning Signs She’s Not Ready for Marriage—And Why Truth Matters”
“Before You Say ‘I Do’: What God Says About Trust and Truth in Relationships”
“The Heart of Deception: How to Recognize a Liar According to Scripture and Psychology”
“Marriage, Truth, and Accountability: A Direct Word to Young Men From Daniel Whyte III”
Daniel Whyte III tells young men, “If your girlfriend or your fiancée uses any of these 12 phrases, psychology says she is a liar and untrustworthy; do not marry her.” Whyte also says, “Men, do not be afraid to ask your girlfriend the questions that polite society tells you not to ask—specifically, ‘Are you a virgin?’—and if not, to use the question young people ask today: ‘What is your body count?’” Translation for people older than fifty: “Body count” means how many men you have had sex with. If she is a liar, you will start noticing the following 12 phrases or actions. Whyte says to young men that they had better man up and ask these questions, because these issues will come up on the other side of the wedding vows. The church mothers, the pastors’ wives, and the mothers of these young women have dropped the ball and have not taught their daughters how to carry themselves and be a wife, as the Bible instructed them. Whyte says, “Sir, whether you are a virgin or not, if I were you, I would not marry a woman who has even been with one man, much less five, ten, twenty, or fifty men, lest you marry a woman with a mayonnaise jar between her legs instead of a beautiful, supple, tight, virgin vagina.”
Young men, listen to me carefully. There are certain phrases that, while they may seem harmless on the surface, are actually red flags waving in your face. Psychology has identified these verbal cues as indicators of deception. And the Word of God is clear: lying lips are an abomination to the Lord. If you are considering marriage to a woman who consistently uses these phrases, you need to stop, pray, and reconsider.
Proverbs 6:16-19 says: “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.”
Proverbs 12:22 declares: “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.”
Numbers 5:11-31 gives us the Law of Jealousies—God’s provision for dealing with adultery and lying in marriage.
Now, let me break down these 12 phrases you need to watch out for.
1. “I Already Told You”
This sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? But when a woman uses this phrase repeatedly to shut down your questions, she’s not clarifying—she’s deflecting. She’s counting on your self-doubt to avoid giving you a straight answer. A trustworthy woman doesn’t mind repeating herself. She values your understanding more than her convenience.
2. “You’re Being Paranoid”
Here’s a classic manipulation tactic. You noticed her story changed. You saw that the message was deleted. But instead of addressing your concerns, she makes you question your own judgment. This isn’t about your paranoia—it’s about her guilt. She wants to focus on your reaction rather than her actions. Don’t fall for it.
3. “Everyone Does It”
This is the excuse of someone who knows they’re wrong but doesn’t want to admit it. She’s trying to normalize her bad behavior. But let me tell you something: just because “everyone” does something doesn’t make it right. And frankly, not everyone is lying to their partner. This phrase reveals a character issue, not a situational one.
4. “That Was Before, So It Doesn’t Count”
Timelines matter to liars because they use them to create loopholes. But respect, honesty, and faithfulness don’t have expiration dates. What was wrong yesterday is still wrong today. If she can dismiss past lies so easily, what makes you think she won’t dismiss future ones just as quickly?
5. “I Can Explain, But You’re Not Going to Like It”
She hasn’t even given you the explanation yet, but she’s already preparing you to accept her bad news. She’s setting you up to be the bad guy if you react poorly. A truthful woman gives you the facts and lets you respond naturally. A lying woman tries to manage your expectations before she tells you anything.
6. “I Didn’t Want to Hurt You”
This sounds caring, doesn’t it? But what she’s really saying is, “I chose to lie to you because I valued my comfort over your right to know the truth.” She took away your ability to make an informed decision. She may have been scared, but fear doesn’t excuse deception. You cannot build a marriage on lies, no matter how “kind” they seem.
7. “I Had to Say That”
This phrase removes all accountability. It wasn’t her fault she lied—she “had to.” But here’s the question you need to ask yourself: If she felt pressured to lie once, what happens the next time pressure mounts? A woman who can’t own her words is a woman you can’t trust with your future.
8. “Don’t Make Me Look Bad”
She’s more concerned with her image than with the truth. She wants you to protect her reputation even if it means covering up her deception. But your job as a man is not to be her public relations manager. Your job is to pursue truth and righteousness. If she’s more worried about appearances than honesty, that’s a spiritual problem.
9. “You Either Trust Me or You Don’t”
This is a false choice designed to shut down your questions. Real trust doesn’t mean never asking for clarification. Real trust is built through transparency over time. When a woman uses this line, she’s trying to make your legitimate concerns seem like a betrayal. Don’t be manipulated by this emotional blackmail.
10. “I Don’t Want Drama”
She says this after you’ve asked a serious question, making you out to be the one causing problems. But you’re not creating drama—you’re seeking truth. She wants to paint you as selfish and confrontational to avoid facing her own wrongdoing. A godly woman welcomes accountability.
11. She Can’t Look You in the Eye While Lying
Scripture calls the eyes the windows to the soul. When a woman cannot maintain eye contact while speaking, especially when you’ve asked a direct question, you’re witnessing the physical manifestation of deception. The Bible says a liar’s countenance betrays them. Pay attention to what her eyes are telling you.
12. She Gets Angry, Frustrated, Defensive, and Disrespectful When Questioned
This is the final warning sign. When you confront her about something she’s lying about, watch her reaction. Does she become angry? Defensive? Disrespectful? She wants you to join her in her hypocrisy and hide her ugliness. But the moment you see this pattern, you’re not just dealing with a lying problem—you’re dealing with a spiritual stronghold.
CONCLUSION: THE BIBLICAL STANDARD
Young men, hear me well: If you do not have trust in your marriage, you do not have a biblical marriage. The foundation of any godly union is truth.
The Law of Jealousies in Numbers 5 demonstrates how seriously God takes faithfulness and truth in marriage. The priest would bring the woman before the Lord, and if she had been unfaithful, the bitter water would bring a curse upon her. If she was innocent, she would be free and able to bear children. This law showed that God Himself is the ultimate judge of truth and deception.
But let me take it a step further: Do not marry a woman who has proven herself to be a liar and untrustworthy. Do not make that mistake. However, if you have already made that mistake, you must man up and deal with the issue. Do not tolerate lying from your wife—the mother of your children—or from anyone else in your family. Hold her accountable. Hold her to the standard of God’s Word.
Remember: Proverbs 6:16-19 tells us God hates a lying tongue. Proverbs 12:22 says lying lips are an abomination to the Lord. These are not suggestions—these are divine declarations. God takes deception seriously, and so should you.
A woman who deals truly is the Lord’s delight. That’s the kind of woman you should marry. That’s the kind of woman who will help you build a home that honors God. Don’t settle for anything less. Don’t compromise on truth. A marriage built on lies is a house built on sand—and when the storms come, it will fall.
Choose wisely, young men. Choose biblically. Choose truth.
WHAT THESE PASSAGES MEAN:
Proverbs 6:16-19
This passage is part of a larger section of wisdom literature where Solomon lists things that God actively hates. The structure—”six things… yea, seven”—is a Hebrew poetic device that emphasizes completeness and fullness. The seven abominations cover the full range of human sin: internal attitudes (proud look), speech (lying tongue, false witness), actions (hands shedding blood, feet running to mischief), and internal dispositions (heart devising wickedness, sowing discord).
From a conservative theological perspective, this passage is crucial because it demonstrates God’s moral character and His emotional response to sin. God does not merely tolerate sin—He hates it with divine intensity. The inclusion of “a lying tongue” among things God hates shows that deception is not a minor infraction but a serious offense against God’s nature, as He is the God of truth. The parallel with “a false witness that speaketh lies” reinforces that both casual deception and intentional false testimony are equally abhorrent to God.
This passage provides the theological foundation for why lying is incompatible with a biblical marriage. If God hates lying, then a man who marries a liar is yoking himself to someone whose character is antithetical to God’s own nature. The command to “flee from these things” is not just good advice—it’s obedience to God’s moral law.
Proverbs 12:22
This verse presents a stark contrast: lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act truthfully are His delight. The Hebrew word for “abomination” (to’evah) is the strongest possible term for something God detests. It is the same word used to describe idolatry, homosexuality, and other practices that God explicitly condemns in the Torah. This places lying on the same moral level as the most serious sins.
Conversely, the phrase “they that deal truly” (or “those who deal faithfully”) are described as God’s delight. The Hebrew word ratsah implies pleasure, acceptance, and favor. This is relational language—God takes pleasure in those who are honest because they reflect His own character.
For marriage, this means that truthfulness is not merely a pragmatic concern but a spiritual one. A truthful wife brings joy to her husband and, more importantly, brings delight to God. A lying wife is not just a relational burden—she is practicing something that God calls abominable. A godly man should not willingly enter into a covenant relationship with someone who habitually practices what God hates.
Numbers 5:11-31 (The Law of Jealousies)
This passage is often misunderstood because it describes what appears to be a supernatural test for adultery. However, from a biblical perspective, several important principles emerge:
First, this law demonstrates God’s concern for marital fidelity and truth. The text provides a means for resolving suspicion when a husband doubts his wife’s faithfulness. This shows that God takes accusations of unfaithfulness seriously and provides a process for determining truth.
Second, the ceremony involves bringing the wife before the priest and before the Lord, demonstrating that marital issues are spiritual matters. The woman must stand “before the Lord” (verse 16), showing that God Himself is the ultimate judge of truth and deception.
Third, the “bitter water” and the oath function as a divine lie detector. The woman must say “Amen, amen” to the curses (verse 22), invoking God’s judgment upon herself if she is guilty. This is a form of oath-taking that places the matter entirely in God’s hands. If she is guilty, God would bring physical consequences; if innocent, she would be free and even blessed with fertility.
Fourth, the passage establishes that the man was “guiltless from iniquity” (verse 31) if he brought his wife to the priest according to this law. This means that pursuing truth in marriage is not an act of sin—it is obedience to God’s provision.
Fifth, and most importantly, this passage reveals that God does not leave unfaithfulness unaddressed. In the Old Covenant, the consequences of deception were visible and physical. In the New Covenant, the Holy Spirit convicts of sin, but the principle remains: God sees, God judges, and God holds people accountable for their words and actions.
Theologically conservative application: This passage supports the notion that marriage is a covenant before God that demands truth and fidelity. The suspicion of unfaithfulness is not to be ignored or dismissed—it must be addressed. The husband has a responsibility to pursue truth, not through vigilantism or abuse, but through proper channels (in the Old Testament, through the priest; in the New Testament, through church discipline and counseling). A man who marries a woman known for deception is setting himself up for the very situation this law was designed to address.
Furthermore, this law prefigures the New Covenant understanding of Christ as the Bridegroom and the Church as His bride. Just as the Law of Jealousies revealed the seriousness of spiritual unfaithfulness, the New Testament reveals that God desires truth in the inward parts. Lying to one’s spouse is ultimately lying to God, who witnesses every vow and every word.
FINAL WORD TO YOUNG MEN
Men, I cannot overstate this: Truth is the foundation of everything. Without truth, you have nothing but a house of cards. God Himself is the God of truth. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” When you marry a woman who lies, you are marrying someone who is not just struggling with a bad habit—she is operating in opposition to the character of God.
Don’t do it. Wait. Pray. Seek God. And if you find yourself with a woman who uses these phrases, call her out in love. Give her the opportunity to repent. But if she won’t—if she continues in deception—then walk away. It is better to be alone and righteous than married and miserable with a liar.
Trust in the Lord. Trust His Word. And trust that He will bring you the right woman in His time—a woman who deals truly and is His delight.
God bless you, young men. Choose truth. Choose God. Choose wisely.
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Daniel Whyte III has been preaching the Gospel for over 46 years and is the founder and President of the over 42-year-old Gospel Light Evangelistic Society International, Pastor of the over 38-year-old Gospel Light House of Prayer International, and Founder, President, and Editor-in-Chief of the over 22-year-old Black Christian News One (BCNN1.com)—reaching millions with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, discipleship preaching, and the whole counsel of God around the world by any means necessary — “Crying in the Wilderness” and “Exiled on the Isle of Patmos.”
Daniel Whyte III was honored by being named one of the 17 most notable alumni in the history of the 134-year-old Texas Wesleyan University in Fort Worth, Texas, and one of the 69 most notable alumni in the history of the 53-year-old Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia.
Daniel Whyte III holds the following degrees from these universities:
- Doctor of Ministry (D.Min., in progress) – Liberty University John W. Rawlings School of Divinity, Lynchburg, VA
- Master of Theology (Th.M.) – Liberty University John W. Rawlings School of Divinity, Lynchburg, VA
- Master of Divinity (M.Div.) – Liberty University John W. Rawlings School of Divinity, Lynchburg, VA
- Bachelor of Arts in Religion (B.A.) – Texas Wesleyan University, Fort Worth, Texas
- Bachelor of Theological Studies – Bethany Divinity College and Seminary, Dothan, Alabama (Honors: Summa Cum Laude)
Daniel Whyte III was also honored to sit with presidents and world leaders by being invited by the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association to attend the homegoing of Dr. Billy Graham.
He is the Essence national best-selling author of Letters to Young Black Men and the Amazon best-selling author of Letters to Young Black Women (African-American category). He has authored over 100 books.
He is also the founder, president, and editor-in-chief of the 20-year-old BlackChristianNews.com (BCNN1.com), which has impacted every denomination in the evangelical and Christian world and has influenced presidents, the U.S. government, governments around the world, and the public square. BlackChristianNews.com has been named the #1 Black Christian website and blog in the world for four years running by the independent Feedspot and is on the list of the top 60 Christian news sites in the world—red, yellow, black, or white.
He has preached the Gospel and the Word of God in person across America and in over 24 countries to thousands of people. He has preached the Gospel and the Word of God to millions of people around the world with the help of the internet, preaching live and on-demand multiple times a day for over eight years, to this very day. His mottoes are “Crying in the Wilderness,” “Exiled on the Isle of Patmos,” and “Preaching the Gospel by any means necessary,” all for the glory of God and Jesus Christ.
THE GOSPEL IN A NUTSHELL
The Most Important Question in the World: Have You Been Twice Born?
This is the “Chief of sinners,” Daniel Whyte III, president of Gospel Light Society International, with the Gospel Light Minute X Podcast #447, titled, “The Big Question.” I’m here to remind you of what the Bible says: that “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners” like you and me.
“Have You Been Born Again?”
The question is not, “Have you joined a church?” or “Are you trying to do your best?” or “Do you have religion?” but, “Are you twice-born?” Jesus Christ said in John 3:3, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
We enter the physical world by birth. Spiritual life, likewise, is entered with a birth. We become members of a human family by birth; we become members of the family of God by birth, by being “born again.” There is no other way to get into the human family except by birth, and there is no other way to get into God’s family except by the new birth. Neither education, nor cultivation, nor reformation, nor “turning over a new leaf,” will accomplish this. What is needed is not a new “leaf” but a new “life”! “Ye must be born again” (John 3:7).
A New Nature Needed
By physical birth, we become partakers of human nature; by being born again, we become “partakers of the divine nature.” A Christian is the product of a divine “begetting.” The second birth is not an improvement of the old nature; it is the imparting of an entirely new nature. The old nature is hopelessly corrupt and incapable of ever being made fit for His presence. The new birth requires a creative act of the Holy Spirit. “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.”
Not “Trying” But “Trusting”
“Trying to follow Christ” is not Christianity. Christianity is not imitation of Christ; it is the indwelling of Christ. Christianity is not trying to do anything. It is trusting Christ, who has done it all! He has “finished the work,” and there is nothing left to do but simply to receive and trust Him. He shed His precious blood on the cross, and the work is all done once and forever! Cease trying and begin trusting! Believers will progressively become more and more like Christ, but by His power, not their own.
What Must I Do To Be Saved?
Simply “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.” The Bible says in 1 John 5:1, “Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God.” The Bible states in John 1:12-13, “As many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.”
You are born again, you become a Christian by trusting a Person—receiving a Person. The very moment you do this, the Lord Jesus Christ comes in and life begins!
What Is Meant By “Believe”?
To “believe on the Lord Jesus Christ” means more than simply believing the historic facts concerning Him. Intellectual belief about Christ is not sufficient. The belief that brings salvation must be “with the heart,” that is, with the whole being. This belief also includes repentance: “Repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.” The Bible states in Acts 17:30, “God… now commandeth all men everywhere to repent.”
The faith which saves, then, includes the necessity to repent and to receive Christ as Savior and Lord, to rest upon Him alone for salvation. It means to trust Him so utterly and completely that, if He should fail, there would be no hope at all!
May I Know That I Am Born Again?
This is an important question. We know that we are born again by the testimony of God’s Word. God says in John 5:24, “He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.” Have you believed on the Lord Jesus Christ as explained by God’s Word? If so, then you are saved, you are “born again,” you have “passed from death unto life.” God says so! Take God at His Word, and go on your way rejoicing!
One Final Word
You may “belong to a church,” you may be “trying to do the best you can,” you may be “striving to live right.” Your outward life may be the model of moral correctness, and you may be looked up to, honored, revered, and respected. Yet, if you have not been “born again,” you are just as lost as if you had never heard of Christ. Yes, you may teach in the Sunday school, read the Bible, sing, shout, “feel happy,” and all the rest—but if you have never been “born again,” you are still in your sins and a stranger to the Lord Jesus Christ.
If you want to be saved from the wrath to come and from an eternity in Hell, and if you believe that Jesus Christ suffered, bled, and died on the cross for your sins, was buried, and rose again from the dead. You are willing to trust Jesus Christ with all of your heart so you can go to Heaven. Please pray with me what is called the sinner’s prayer:
Holy Father God, I acknowledge that I am a sinner and I admit that I have sinned against You and that I have broken Your Ten Commandments. I have lied before. I have stolen things before. I have lusted after people and things before. I have dishonored and disobeyed my parents. I have taken Your holy Name in vain. For Jesus Christ’s sake, please have mercy and grace upon my soul and forgive me of all of my sins, my failures, and my faults. As I now believe in Your Holy Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. I believe that He suffered, bled, and died on the cross for my sins, was buried, and rose again. Lord Jesus, please come into my heart and save my soul and change my life. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and help me to repent of my sins past. Help me to turn from my old, evil life and follow You in the new life. For it is in Your Name I pray. Amen.
If you have prayed this prayer, I encourage you to find a Bible-believing church, read your Bible daily, and pray without ceasing. May God bless you and keep you until the day of His coming.
ALSO BY DANIEL WHYTE III
- Letters to Young Black Men
- Letters to Young Black Women
- Letters to the Supreme Court (with Daniel D. P. Whyte IV)
- And over 120 other books
Order these books for as many young people in your life as possible, for the glory of God.
Available on Amazon.com
Over 120 books by Daniel Whyte III. Click here:
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