Welcome to Surviving and Thriving in The Rough Love Road Marriage & Family podcast. This is episode #10. My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Gospel Light Society International. I am married to my first and only wife, the former Meriqua Althea Dixon, of Christiana, Jamaica, for over 32 years, and God has blessed our marriage with seven children. The simple purpose of this podcast is to help husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and children understand that true Christian marriage and family life in most cases will be a Rough Love Road experience. The Christian marriage and family is designed to break you, make you, and mold you to be what you need to be for the glory of God. And contrary to lying, hypocritical and phony Christian leaders and people today who fake like that is not the case or compromise to try to make it not the case, thus violating God’s Holy Word, the Bible, and contrary to most Christian authors today on the family, to have a victorious Christian marriage and family it is not about cute techniques, manipulation and compromise, it is about simple obedience to the Bible especially in Ephesians chapters 5 and 6, working from a position of Godly authority with the husband (male) being the head of every marriage and family under God and Jesus Christ, and the wife (female) being in submission to her husband whether she likes it or not, and with the children being in obedience to their parents whether they like it or not. So marriage and family will be a Rough Love Road experience and, yes, it will take “tough love” as well. The only way to have your family to turn out well “in time to come” is by simply being obedient to God’s Holy Word whether you feel like it or not. Which in other words means staying together with your first spouse and not divorcing, which is your biggest sign of success. By the way, I am very sorry, but this podcast is not for divorced people, it is designed for young couples who are determined to stick it out no matter what, it is for couples who may have had some problems in the past but are determined to obey God and stay together no matter how they feel, and it is for people who believe that keeping their vows to God and staying together and not divorcing is a worthy goal and means success in marriage in God’s sight, and for people for whom divorce is simply not an option. Any compromise, any games, any lies will cause your family to be a failure as opposed to being victorious.
Our scripture passage for this episode is Ephesians 5:23-24 which states, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
Now, allow me to share with you more commentary on this passage from David Guzik:
d. And He is the Savior of the body: We can understand how the husband is head of the wife in the same way that Christ is head of the church. Sometimes it is difficult to see how the husband is the Savior of the body in the way that Jesus is the Savior of the body, that is, of the Church.
i. Lloyd-Jones thinks Paul used the wider understanding of the word Savior, which can simply mean preserver. 1 Timothy 4:10 speaks of Jesus being the Savior of all men, especially of those who believe. How can Jesus be the Savior of all men? In the sense that He preserves all men and blesses all men with good things from heaven above. It is in this way that husbands are to be their wife’s savior. Paul essentially repeats the same idea in Ephesians 5:28-29: So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
ii. “What, then, is the doctrine? It is clearly this. The wife is the one who is kept, preserved, guarded, shielded, provided for by the husband. That is the relationship – as Christ nourishes and cherishes the church, so the husband nourishes and cherishes the wife – and the wife should realize that that is her position in this relationship.” (Lloyd-Jones)
e. Of the body: The picture of the body shows how essential a Christian wife’s submission is. “The wife must not act before the husband. All the teaching indicates that he is the head, that he ultimately controls. So she not only does not act independently of him, she does not act before him… it is equally true to say that she must not delay action, she must not stall action, she must not refuse to act. Go back to the analogy of the body. Think of somebody who has had a ‘stroke’… the arm is not healthy, it resists movement.” (Lloyd-Jones)
i. “We can sum it up thus: The teaching is that the initiative and the leadership are ultimately the husband’s, but the action must always be coordinated. That is the meaning of this picture – co-ordinated action but leadership in the head. There is no sense of inferiority suggested by this. The wife is not inferior to her husband; she is different.” (Lloyd-Jones)
Our quote for this episode is from Jay Adams. He said, “[Paul] says that [wives] must obey. You must obey, not primarily for the benefits that you and your husband will receive, but in order to exhibit the relationship of Jesus Christ to His church. At all costs you must not misrepresent this relationship. You cannot exemplify the love that the church must have for Jesus Christ if that kind of love is not seen in your heart for your husband. And it must be seen in your submissive life as a result. … Freedom in God’s world never comes apart from structure. When one is free to live as God intended, he is truly free indeed. We hear much about women’s liberation today. I want you to be liberated. Here is the path of genuine liberation for a woman: submission. Submission allows her to run on the track; it allows her to make beautiful music in her home. When you do what God intended a woman to do, when you are what God intended a woman to be, that is when you will be most free.”
In this podcast, we are using the late John R. Rice’s classic book: “The Home—Courtship, Marriage and Children: A Bible Manual of 22 Chapters on the Christian Home.”
We continue with Chapter 1: Marriage and Home (Part 8):
II. Why Should People Marry? (contd.)
Second, people should marry for a partnership.
You see, a man is wonderfully built for the work that God has for him to do. But a man may be ever so strong in doing his work, and yet he may have clumsy fingers for threading a needle or dressing a baby. How often men have been astonished when they brought a bride to the home that was prepared ahead of time to see what deft changes a woman’s fingers made in the home! An embroidered doily on a table here, a vase of flowers there, a dainty curtain, a neat arrangement here and there; and, lo, the home is different! You see, men and women are not alike and each needs the other for partnership.
How many men there are who tried to live alone. Sometimes on the plains of West Texas cowboys have “batched”—which means they lived as bachelors, doing their own cooking, living in abodes without a woman. I can tell you from seeing many such a bunkhouse, many such a cook shack, many such a ranch home in West Texas, that man was not made to live alone. Man needs the help of a good woman. A home is not a home without a woman.
In countless apartments over the nation two or three girls—secretaries, stenographers, department store clerks—live by twos or threes, together. They make their toast and coffee in the morning over the little burner, they eat their meals together at night perhaps. Though they have all the dainty things that woman’s fingers prepare for a home, it may be, yet they must go out through the day and toil to make a living for themselves. And when women live alone they have trouble with the furnace. They do not know what to do when a window sticks. And they always feel certain limitations out in the world of commerce. There is a place in business for a woman as an assistant to man, but any woman who runs a business of her own, who meets the world on its own terms, often feels her frailty, often feels the need for stronger hands and shoulders and a bolder brain than her own. I am not disparaging the gifts and abilities that women have. I simply say that women are only women and men are only men. God intended that they should work together in a partnership.
In the pioneer home there was need for strong arms and hands to fell the trees and clear the land and till it. There was needed boldness for protecting the home against the Indians, courage to supply the larder with the wild meat. But in the cottage there was a need for daintier fingers to rock the cradle, to do the sewing and the cooking. And there was need for a tenderer heart, for a woman’s genius and a woman’s devotion and a woman’s loyalty. You see, for the sake of partnership, marriage is necessary. A man is only half a man if he is not married. A woman is certainly less than a complete woman who is not married. God made man and woman to work together, and no one is at his best who does not have his work complemented by a partner of the other sex. It is true that in business, and sometimes in Christian work, the ideal and the best work is done by men and women working together. But in marriage, even more than in business or in the professions or in Christian work, men and women are made to toil together and to divide their labor according to their gifts and capacities and inclinations. How wise, how good was God to provide the institution of marriage that the best both in man and woman could be brought out, and that their toil should have the best reward and the best fruitage!
— PRAYER —
Now, if you and your family do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, here’s how to.
First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”
Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”
Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.
Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”