Proverbs 12:4 Devotional: “A Virtuous Woman is a Crown…” (Part 9)

“Just a minute! You can’t forget the crowning jewel of all – contentment! This jewel adds luster to your crown. This jewel releases your husband from bondage and pressure. Sadly, it is often a missing jewel. It’s easy to be content when you have everything you want. But can you learn to be content when you don’t have everything you want? Can you be content with what your husband provides for you? I am always challenged by Psalm 128:3 TLB where it talks about the “contented” wife in the home.”


Proverbs 12:4: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”

Genesis 2:18: “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges on Genesis 2:18: “It is not good, &c.] Man is created a social animal. His full powers cannot be developed by physical and mental work alone; nor his moral being by self-discipline in solitude. His faculties and his character require to be expanded and beautified by the duties of domestic and social life, as a member of a family, as a friend, as a fellow-worker, as a citizen. To be alone is not “good”; it does not promote his fullest life, or his best service.

an help meet for him] “meet”: or answering to. The word “meet” means “suitable,” or “adapted to.” The Lord God will make for man a “help” corresponding to his moral and intellectual nature, supplying what he needs, the counterpart of his being.

“Help meet,” which has become a recognized English word, fails to give the full sense of this passage from which it is derived. Man will find help from that which is in harmony with his own nature, and, therefore, able adequately to sympathise with him in thought and interests. It is not identity, but harmony, of character which is suggested. The word “help” in the Hebrew is ‘êzer, the same as is found in Ebenezer (1 Samuel 7:12)”


I must admit when I first got married I interpreted this verse (Genesis 2:18) to mean I will help my husband in the way I want to help him when I want to help him, and when I am tired of helping him then I can take off to do my own thing — whatever that is. Well, that is not the correct interpretation of this verse. It means you help your husband in the way he wants you to help him, when he wants you to help him, and to what degree he wants you to help him. I can’t count the number of times my husband has had to remind me I need to help him the way he wants to be helped.

Your husband may have come home from a hard day’s work and wants to simply retire to the couch, or to the bedroom, before the television and be left alone for about an hour or two. Then is not the time to be running behind him rehearsing the “Honey-do-list.” Then is not the time to yak about the problems in your day. Nor is it the time to tell on the children. Oftentimes, timing is what it is all about.

If he wants you to take the children to the park for an hour while he rests, then take the children to the park. In doing so, you are being an help meet for him. If he wants you to leave the dinner dishes in the sink and come lay down with him, then do that; you are being an help meet for him. If he wants you to just quietly wait until he gathers his thoughts and tells you what to do, then stand quietly and wait; you are being an help meet for him. He is in charge and you are his “help meet.” A help meet helps in the way the husband wishes to be helped and not always in the way she wants to help.

“I will make him an help [that is] meet [fit] for him.”

— Ella Breedlove

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