“What does the crown look like with which you adorn your husband? Does it look tarnished and strange because many jewels are missing? Or is it filled with precious gems? What are some of the gems that will make your husband proud to wear you as his crown? Is your crown decorated with diamonds of devotion, dedication, dignity and diligence that will delight his soul? Have you set in sapphires that will shine and sparkle with a serving, sacrificial and submissive spirit? Are you sweet to him? Are you a strength and support to his vision and goals in life? Are you sensitive to his needs? Are you steadfast in your loyalty and commitment to your marriage?”
– NANCY CAMPBELL
Proverbs 12:4: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.”
Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible on Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turneth away wrath,…. Mild words, gentle expressions, delivered with kindness and tenderness, humility and submission; these will work upon a man’s passions, weaken his resentments, and break and scatter the storm of wrath raised in his breast, just breaking forth in a very boisterous and blustering manner; so high winds are sometimes laid by soft showers. Thus the Ephraimites were pacified by Gideon’s mild answer; and David by Abigail’s very submissive and respectful address, Judges 8:1; but grievous words stir up anger; such as are rough and menacing, scornful and sneering, reproachful and reviling, proud, haughty, and overbearing; like those of Jephthah to the Ephraimites; and of the Ephraimites to the Gileadites; and of Nabal to David’s servants, concerning him; and of Rehoboam, who answered the people roughly: in all which instances anger was stirred up, and either were or like to have been attended with bad consequences, Judges 12:1. Or a “word” causing, or rather expressing, “grief” (r); upbraiding others with being the cause of grief to them.”
My husband wants me to answer him “Yes, sir” or “No, sir” whenever he asks me a yes/no question or makes a statement. But little ol’ me has got to add, subtract, or multiply to those two simple words, especially if that statement is in the form of a rebuke or if I feel he is being unfair about something.
On top of that, instead of a soft answer, I’ll produce a snappish, frustrated answer which leads to a further harsh rebuke or a long discourse from him. And I admit, my response to his rebuke is sometimes a negative one.
Now a snappish, frustrated answer is not becoming of a virtuous woman. Why? If she is prayed up and walking in the Spirit she will produce a soft answer to anything her husband says or does and thus not produce wrath (“turns away wrath”).
So, let’s practice answering our husband with a soft answer as this will take us one giant step closer to being virtuous women.
— Ella Breedlove