Fighting for Your Marriage When Life Beats You Up

In the parenting journey, just as in life, nothing is guaranteed. The unexpected happens to all of us, but there are some things that not only come as a surprise, they turn life on its head. And in those moments, marriage is often the relationship that takes the hardest hit. Divorce rates among families with disabilities, infant loss, or special needs are high, and it’s no surprise. When the rest of your circumstances demand a fight, it can be hard to stick up for each other.

So how do you love your partner well when everything else feels uncertain? The number 1 relationship counseling app shares insights from their interview with Jay and Katherine Wolf of Hope Heals.

First, choose faith not frustration. In times of upheaval, we can lose sight of the person we married, opting to focus on their flaws or our own frustrations in the relationship. Recognize the stumbling blocks couples face in tough circumstances – things like disenchantment – and choose faith in your spouse instead. Jay Wolf, father of two and husband to Katherine, who was disabled by a sudden brainstem stroke in 2008, says, “So often part of our disenchantment is that we think, ‘This isn’t what we signed up for.’ We roll over in the bed after however many years have passed, or kids have happened, or financial issues, or medical diagnoses, or whatever the catalyst is that creates change, and say, ‘Who is this person that I am with?’” If the heaviness of your circumstances has caused you to feel disenchanted with your spouse or your relationship, it doesn’t mean you have to stay that way. Intentionality goes a long way to finding that spark again. As Jay puts it, “This is your person, and you get to say, ‘I’m going to show up and learn who you are again and love this new person you’ve become.’”

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Source: Church Leaders

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