The views expressed in this commentary do not necessarily reflect those of BCNN1. Opinions expressed are solely those of the author(s).
Two “Cs” that most people connect with Valentine’s Day are Candy and Cards. With love in the air, approximately $2 billion will be spent on candy and nearly $1 billion on cards in the hope of making your spouse or a significant other feel special. However, after one week, the gifts of candy and cards are simply one day of romance and actual ongoing marital life becomes a reality.
Although candy and cards have their place, the Seven “Cs” are what keep a marital relationship healthy on a consistent basis. The Seven “Cs” create satisfaction and bring about regular contentment and happiness. Think of the “Cs” in this article as daily vitamins for the successful well-being of your relationship both on Valentine’s Day and everyday.
Have a daily dialogue with good give-and-take communication. Ask two consecutive questions of each other to promote an exchange of information. Share the activities of your day and personal feelings about what went well. Give your spouse excellent focused attention which means wonderful eye contact and reflective listening, echoing what they share with you. Talking is sharing, but listening well is truly caring and that defines the heart of communication.
In relationships, there is the sowing and reaping principle of “what we give, we usually receive.” When a spouse sows compliments, they will usually reap compliments in return. Praise or a compliment also creates positive energy and a stronger connection between a husband and wife. The best way to compliment or praise is to give an “Appreciation Vitamin” with the words, “I appreciate . . . “ Please remember to always appreciate both internal qualities as well as external activities. Never let a day go by without giving an “Appreciation Vitamin” to your partner.
Consistent, meaningful touch is an essential component for a strong connection. Healthy couples practice small acts of touching on a daily basis. Scratch her back, lovingly squeeze his hand, give her quick kisses, rub his shoulders, stroke her hair, and frequently hold hands. A lack of initiating touch by both partners often leads to sexual intimacy struggles. On the positive side, view physical touch as the cement for your relationship.
Create a close emotional bond by being a giver not a taker. God said the “two shall be one,” hence intently focus on strengthening your “Oneness” or closeness every single day. Two healthy partners do not ask “What am I getting out of this relationship?” but instead are asking, “What am I putting into this relationship?” in order to reinforce our closeness. Laughter is probably one of the top three ways to create closeness. Laughter is a powerful human emotion that diminishes stress and paves the wave for a more enjoyable relationship. So smile regularly and laugh with each other to enhance your cohesion.
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SOURCE: Christian Post, Randy Schroeder