John Yeats on Communicating With Your Valentine

John Yeats is executive director of the Missouri Baptist Convention and recording secretary of the Southern Baptist Convention. The views expressed in this commentary do not necessarily represent those of BCNN1.

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. (BP) — The longevity of a relationship is built on trust, respect and communication. Communication is vital for rebuilding a relationship broken by bad behavior. We all act badly at some level, because we are “flesh” and continually need God’s amazing grace and forgiveness.

Even healthy relationships flourishing for decades benefit from serving one another by asking questions and listening.

How many couples will go on a Valentine’s date without their cell phones and not have anything to talk about? Lack of communication can signal significant marital challenges. Can you carry on a conversation about “us” without bringing up work, kids or even church? There is plenty to talk about; we just have to ask the right questions and listen.

How about some sample questions that facilitate intimacy? Even if you only have time to ask one or two questions, experiencing an authentic conversation can have positive results for a lasting marriage.

1. When you were a child and felt anxious, where did you go and why did you go there?

2. What is your favorite childhood memory?

3. When we were dating (courting), what is one of your best memories?

4. If you could have a perfect date with me, what would it include?

5. What would describe the most significant spiritual landmarks in your life?

6. Do you have one or two favorite Scripture verses that are like “true north” for you? Why?

7. What has God allowed in your life to break your heart?

8. What are the five most important things on your personal bucket list?

9. What are three things you are most thankful for right now?

10. What is the one thing you wish I understood more about you?

Make up your own questions. Just make sure they are not questions with a one-word answer. As you can tell, these are just conversation starters. However, to have a “conversation,” you must serve one another by listening to the heart of the person sitting across from you.

Gentlemen, I am addressing you! I know we are not as relationally hardwired like our brides. I also know we tend to spend our lives going from project to project, from what is on the schedule to what is next on the schedule.

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Source: Baptist Press