Dr. Bobby Mills: Family – Structure and Function

by Dr. Bobby E. Mills, PhD

God is the designer of family, not the U.S. Supreme Court, because “The house of the wicked shall be overthrown: but the tabernacle of the upright shall flourish” (Proverbs 14:9). The first spiritual-institutional relationship that God created was Adam and Eve, not church membership. A family structure (father, mother and child/children) is a cultural universal which, in turn, forms the foundation of every society. Family has a structural-functional-dimension that is associated with social positions and spiritual-social-roles. Mothers must spiritually teach and example love: what to love and what not to love. Fathers must train children in the ways of the Lord. “Continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and has been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; and that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:14-15). In the twenty first century, the divine purpose of God, as it relates to family, and societal institutional structures, has been circumvented by the social forces of evil, especially vulgar secularism. The lack of spiritual discipline is the overriding cause of the breakdown of family units. God designed family as a spiritual union (system), not an economic system. Living from the outside (external values) to the inside creates untold confusion and social conflicts. The importance of understanding socio-spiritual roles in a family structure is the key to both family stability and societal stability. Every family has economic functions related to the basic human survival needs: food, drink and clothing (shelter). God knows that all humans have need of these things. God did not design families as economic systems. Hence, the Bible declares: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” (Matthew 6:33-34). You might not be here on tomorrow; it’s not promise. It is God’s desire that his spiritual character become the foundational basis for human relationships and interactions. In fact, God wants each individual to think spiritually concerning what is important, and then act in love toward each other (that is, develop spiritual relationships). Jesus made it plain in the spiritual edits given in the Sermon on the Mount. Therefore, “Be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men.” (1 Corinthians 14:20). Moreover, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:” (Proverbs 23:7). This is why life is about setting priorities, and priorities are values.

It is spiritually unfortunate that most Americans have allowed the family structure as designed by God to devolve into an economic “money” system without realizing nor understanding the spiritual-relationship consequences: “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows” (1 Timothy 6:10). Actions have consequences: positive or negative. Jesus taught this spiritual fact about the dangers of loving money: “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:19-21). Now, we all know why President Trump, GOP officials, and all other politicians only talk and play on “it’s the economy stupid”. America, “Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth” (Luke 12:15). Rarely, if ever, do they talk about family spiritual values/unity and democratic societal values or national unity of purpose. They only talk about life as money and the economy. Get the money; get the money any kind of way; just get the money. Making/accumulating money has become the essence of life, and not the love of God (TRUTH), family values or national spiritual unity of purpose. Yet, on the other hand, God desires that a nation function as a system of families because: “Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is reproach to any people” (Proverbs 14:34). The desire for money and the love of things in order to maximize the pleasure principle has created untold social role confusion in both family structures, as well as American society. Serving money has become more important than serving God (Truth). Lies create illusions. Lies are sins whereby the devil is given an invitation to create untold confusion. Consequently, far too many Americans will do anything for the love of power and money, even lie perpetually, without understanding that lies create a false reality and only compound sin. Moreover, the notion of alternative facts is of a reprobate mind because we all know that there is no such thing as alternative facts, just lies and damn lies. Lest we forget, President Trump has told almost 16,000 public lies, and Americans must spiritually understand the reason why: he has an idle mind, and an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Thus, Christian Right Evangelicals, GOP officials, and Trump loyalists have become “imps” of the works of the devil on earth (Donald J. Trump).

Most divorces (family breakdown and dysfunction) occur in American society because of the stresses, strains, and social conflicts associated with lying, lack of money, social parental teachings, and the love/desire for things. Things do not make individuals happy. Know this, America, if things made individuals happy, everyone in the world, especially Americans would be happy. Loving money-things and loving pleasure-vanity are flip-sides of the same coin. The spiritual downside to what has happened to family life and structure in American society is gender confusion. Too many children are growing up in single parent female headed households, thus, resulting in too many males socially imitating females, and too many females socially growing up desiring to maximize the pleasure principle: “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints” (1 Corinthians 14:33). God’s spiritual work is done in the light of eternity, not time. God created both the statuses as well as the associated biological reproductive roles, and God spiritually wired both males and females for their distinct biological and social roles. Neither society nor individuals can create new gender role identifications. “Forever, O Lord, thy word is settled in heaven” (Psalm 119:89). Only God can create biological human genders and biological roles. The script is eternally written, and it cannot be rewritten by mankind. Once you go on the other side of midnight (male-homosexuality, female-lesbianism) there is no return to the light of God; therefore, God gives an individual over to a reprobate mind. It’s in the mind, not the behind. “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were they thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,” (Romans 1:21-22). In lower forms of animal life, there is no biological gender confusion! Why then does gender confusion exist in human beings? Does the answer lie in the inability of human beings to handle free-will expression of the mind? Families have a threefold godly purpose: procreation, spiritualization, and societal socialization-development. Thus, God has eternally fixed it, because God’s work is done in the light of eternity, not time: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it” (Genesis 1:27-28). This cannot be altered or changed, only confused by individuals who seek to make wrong right, and right wrong because “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him” (Proverbs 30:5). America, that says it all forever because human beings have choice (free-will). Always remember God is not a dictator of human will. Selah!

Dr. Bobby E. Mills received his Bachelors of Divinity degree from Colgate-Rochester Crozer Divinity School in Rochester, New York, and his PhD in sociology from Syracuse University. He is a retired college professor and is the author of several books, including: Lost Nation and Sermons for Christ-like (Christian) Living.