It’s a normal Friday night. Friends are eating together and hanging out. They are all believers and a close-knit group. They do a lot of life together.
It’s a potluck kind of night. They are bringing hot wings, chips, dips and a variety of tasty appetizers. Everyone is upbeat, except one. One of the regulars is quiet and looks troubled. The elephant is in the room, but everyone looks away.
The evening continues with stories of the week. Friends sharing victories and struggles. Our troubled friend finds an open door and grabs the attention of everyone. Tears pour. Words hard to interpret roll off her lips. The room turns somber and friends gather around.
The troubled friend arrests the party, and everyone is taken hostage.
Do you have a friend like that? She continues. She explains her trauma. Her emotions are on full display. She calms down. Silent prayers begin. And then it happens. The worst is yet to come.
There is nothing wrong with a friend sharing their heart. Struggle and hardships are a normal part of life. And sharing struggles with good friends is healthy. But the advice is not always helpful.
Some Christians Are Know-it-alls
It’s interesting that Christians believe they have the answers to all of life’s problems. Several friends offer contrasting solutions to her dilemma.
Let’s see if your friend showed up at the party.
- The “self-righteous” friend. The self-righteous friend wants to discover why this is happening. They say things like, “As you know, if you were living right, this could have been avoided.” They continue, “You must have opened the door to the devil to come into your life.”
The self-righteous friend makes it known that they would have never made the choice you made.
- The “cliche” friend. The cliche friend has obvious solutions. “Well, you just need to get over it.” They continue with things such as, “I know the pain is real, but God is a healer. You need to let go of that pain and cast all your cares on God. You know God loves you, don’t you?”
The cliche friend offers shallow answers and lacks empathy.
- The “fix-it” friend. The main concern of the “fix-it” friend is to fix your problem, at the expense of not acknowledging your struggle. The “fix-it” friend is not interested in your story. They will say things like, “That does not matter; skip the details. Let’s sort this out. Here is precisely what you need to do.”
The “fix-it” friend has the wrong approach to real problems.
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SOURCE: Charisma News