Russell Moore, president of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, has shared advice for children whose parents are divorcing and offered a comforting reminder that “Jesus is alive and taking us to a world where there are no divorce courts.”
In a video posted to his YouTube channel on Tuesday, Moore acknowledged, regardless of age, parental divorce is difficult for children.
“You’re right to be upset,” he said. “It’s OK to hurt in this because this is not the way it’s supposed to be. God created that marriage union to be lifelong and God created that lifelong union of parents to be a picture of security and a reality of security. So when that’s being ripped apart, something violent is happening to that picture of the Gospel. You’re right to hurt.”
While it’s tempting to want to “hide that hurt behind a self-protecting cynicism,” Moore encouraged those struggling to “genuinely grieve and lament.”
“What you will find is that God is tenderly present with you in that season of lament,” he said.
The second thing to remember is, “it’s not your fault,” he continued.
“I have walked with people through literally thousands of these situations. I have never, ever, seen or heard of a divorce situation where any of the children had anything to do with it,” the speaker and author said.
“You need to constantly remind yourself you have no power over this. You had no power to cause the divorce … you have no power to keep your parents’ marriage together,” he declared. “No matter what your motives would have been, you would not have been able to do this. Nobody stays together in a marriage because they have good kids; no one divorces because they have bad kids.”
Moore also encouraged children not to take sides in a divorce, adding: “Sometimes, you’re going to have one parent who is going to want to vent to you. Don’t judge that parent. That parent really is grieving and lamenting and wants to talk to … but there comes a point where you can say to that parent, ‘I think maybe somebody else would be better to help you work through this than I would be because I’m walking through this myself.’”
In such situations, it’s important to put sin into context, Moore added, “There is a way that seems right to people and they follow it. Let’s understand that there are often many things going on that we just don’t have access to and we just don’t see.”
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SOURCE: Christian Post, Leah MarieAnn Klett