Nolan Harkness: The Healing Process is Black, Gray, and White

I learned that during the first days following a tragedy, everything seems black. We have black-black days, full of sorrow and sadness and mourning and weeping. Somehow, by God’s design within our being we are able to function, but just barely. We are not capable of doing much beyond barely functioning. Those days indeed are “black-black” days.
Somehow during those black-black days, God begins to internally give us the strength to go on. We don’t even realize that He is working. During those black-black times we can even be angry at Him. We may say all types of angry things to Him! We question why did this happen. As we run here and there our faith is often trampled under the feet of our confusion. Sometimes in our effort to try to make ourselves feel better, we may even get involved in things, which we are eventually sorry for.

And then along comes something that we really didn’t expect! A “black-gray day”! On the black-gray days things are just a tiny bit better. However, as soon as you have a black-gray day, you may very well go backwards and have a black-black day and then another black-black day tomorrow. But take heart; before long you have another black-gray day and then another black-gray day following that.

In the midst of your sadness and sorrow, just when you think you’re moving along at a little higher level of functioning while the wounds can still be freshly painful something reminds you all over again of that tragic day. Maybe you are suddenly reminded of the day that you first learned of your heartrending loss, or a special day you had with the person you have lost. All of a sudden you find yourself having a black-black day again.

These black-black days usually only last a short period of time before you have a black-gray day again, because you are in a healing process. More black-gray days will come! Then for some reason something amazing happens. All the sudden you have a gray-gray day and perhaps even a second!

However, in a transition only God understands, you go back and have a black-gray day or even a black-black day. It may be on a special anniversary or something happens that reminds you fresh and anew of the tragedy. You can even have a couple of black-black days. Then along comes a black-gray day but then here comes a gray-gray day! The process is slow and there are times you get discouraged. There are times that your faith will be squashed low.

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SOURCE: Christian Post, Nolan Harkness