Gary Thomas on Why a Good Husband Honors His Wife’s Privacy

It’s critical that you as a good husband honor your wife’s privacy every time. It’s like this…

A friend of mine is a medical doctor who has held the beating heart of a living person in his hands.

That blows me away. I can’t even imagine that kind of responsibility.

Every Husband Must Honor His Wife’s Privacy

But here’s the thing: every husband has his wife’s “spiritual heart” beating in his hands every day. Our wives make themselves just as vulnerable spiritually and emotionally as my friend’s patients do physically.

We’ve just gotten used to it.

Every husband has “inside” information on his wife: a health issue, something in her past, a secret fear. Sometimes, we might accidentally talk about it because we didn’t realize it’s sacred. Who knew your wife cared if others found out she used Spanx? Or it could be something more serious and heartfelt, like occasional panic attacks or losing her temper with the children.

Don’t trust yourself to know what your wife would find hurtful if it’s shared. The safest approach in marriage is not to disclose anything to anyone we haven’t heard our wives disclose first. She may feel comfortable sharing something with a friend that she doesn’t want her parents to know, or vice versa. That’s her call, not ours.

Young husbands, if you violate your wife’s trust even once by not honoring your wife’s privacy, there’s going to be a natural reluctance going forward on her part to share anything intimate with you. What you say to others will largely determine what she says to you.

When a wife makes herself vulnerable to us, we have to hold what she shares as a sacred trust. When your wife shares personal information with you to elicit your support, you know enough to also harm her if you’re not tender, thoughtful and circumspect about what you share. Think of it this way: the Seattle Seahawks offensive linemen need to know if Russell Wilson has an injury that could affect his ability to pass the ball. The Green Bay Pikers don’t. Letting the other team know would be seen as an almost unforgivable betrayal. Your wife feels like she’s on your “team” and is willing to be more open with you. Living in a sometimes cruel world, she may feel others would use that same information to ridicule or harm her.

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Source: Church Leaders