Good news newlyweds, the sexual fire doesn’t have to end!
Jill (Duggar) Dillard writes in a recent family blog post that she didn’t listen when people told her “oh you just wait” that the newlywed phase would end after marrying husband Derick in 2014. Five years and two children later, Dillard, 30, writes her thoughts on a healthy marriage and it includes a lot of sex.
“Have sex often!” she writes. “You both need this time together regularly (3-4 times a week is a good start. lol).”
Maybe there’s something all of us can learn as the latest study shows that couples are lucky to have that much sex in a month.
‘Let your spouse know that you’re always available’
How do you not become one of those couples?
Dillard has some ideas:
- When you can’t have intercourse, “find other ways to have fun and be intimate. Let your spouse know that you’re always available.”
- “Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting! (Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Corinthians 7:5)
- “If you’re struggling with sex with your spouse, GET HELP! See a doctor and/or licensed counselor and don’t be afraid to get second opinions!”
- “Pray and fast for your husband. Ask him how you can pray for him and let him know when you do (e.g. send him text messages &/or write a little note).
- “Get new lingerie (online is an easy way to buy!) as a surprise gift for birthdays, holidays, vacations or whenever!”
- “Look nice for him. It’s easy to get home and throw on the frumpy pjs and wash your makeup off, but make sure that a few times a week you enjoy time together looking like you would hanging out when you were dating!”
Balancing children and a spouse
Dillard and her husband, 30, share sons Israel David, 4, and Samuel Scott, 1. She says that it’s important to make time for family, but also to give your husband undivided attention. This should happen daily, weekly and yearly.
“Don’t let your children control the house,” she writes. “Keep a routine and make them go to bed early so you can have quality time together (especially if you don’t have family or close friends around to babysit regularly!)”
The TLC “Counting On” star suggests letting your husband know you can’t wait until he comes home by texting him and telling him that you love and miss him. When he does arrive, “run to him (like you may have done when you were first dating).”
She advises prioritizing a weekly date night. “Even if you can’t go out, you can put the kids to bed early, have a candlelit dinner and watch a marriage video on YouTube and then discuss it together or read a marriage book together or take fun personality quizzes online!”
Couples also should book a kid-free weekend once or twice a year and invest in their marriage by attending counseling a few times a year. “Just to learn helpful tips, keep tabs on their marriage and be constantly striving for better!” she writes.
SOURCE: USA Today – Sonja Haller