Chip Ingram on the Role of a Man In the Home

(Courtesy of Chip Ingram)
(Courtesy of Chip Ingram)

When I was in high school, I began dating a girl. One day, I went over to her house to meet her mother and I immediately noticed a picture of man in uniform.

I asked them, “Is that your dad?”

My girlfriend nodded.

“Is he home right now?”

“No,” she replied. “He’s in Vietnam and he’s missing in action. It’s been that way for five years.”

Although, technically, my girlfriend had a father and her mother had a husband, this man wasn’t involved in their lives. He was missing.

Sadly, this is a lot like the American family right now. Most dads and husbands today are “missing in action.” They might be physically alive or even living with their families at home, but they are completely missing in all of the ways that their kids and spouses need them.

Why? I believe it’s because most men didn’t grow up with a dad or someone who modeled for them what it looks like to be a man. For me, when I was growing up, I had a strong dad physically, but spiritually he wasn’t present. So when I got married, I had no idea what it meant to be a man according to God’s word.

The average father, or husband, is often left wondering… “What does it mean to be a man?” And “What’s my role as a man in marriage?”

Thankfully, the Bible has given us some guidance as to what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman in the home.

The Bible shows us that God has made men and women equal in design but different in order to complement one another.

In Ephesians 1-4, the Apostle Paul reminds us of whom we are in Christ and to “walk in a manner worthy of your calling.” He also encourages us to allow the Spirit of God to control our lives and to abide in Him. When we’re living this way, then the evidence of our behavior is this:

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph 5:21, NIV)

Our roles as husbands and wives begin with submitting to Christ and mutually submitting to one another. Submitting or being “subject” to one another means that we desire to get less than what we deserve. It’s about putting the other person’s needs above our own.

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SOURCE: The Christian Post
Chip Ingram is the senior pastor of Venture Christian Church in Los Gatos, California, and teaching pastor and CEO of Living on the Edge, an international teaching and discipleship ministry. A pastor for over thirty years, Chip has a unique ability to communicate truth and challenge people to live out their faith. He’s the former president of Walk Thru the Bible, and the author of many books, including The Real Heaven. For more information on Chip, visit