I’ll never forget the thrill of being a newlywed – the ecstasy, stunning new realities, and fulfillment that was beyond expectation and description. But I quickly learned that this stage of marriage is short lived. Sooner or later, the valley will come.
I’ve been there. Only a few years after my wife Missy and I married, we were ready to call it quits. It wasn’t one big thing that drew us to this conclusion. We just didn’t get along.
Thankfully, others wouldn’t let us give up on ourselves and encouraged us to get help. It was only through professional biblical counseling that we were able to heal our marriage.
Some couples are not so fortunate.
Many of us have bought into the lie that the goal of marriage is to avoid divorce, but really, it is so much more. The goal is to be happy and to have a good marriage that ultimately glorifies the Lord.
As I reflect on my own marriage, I realized that while there were many factors that played a part in Missy and my hardships, one of the biggest was my own expectation of what marriage was going to be. I’ve heard similar sentiments as I have traveled the world speaking with individuals who are hurting and struggling.
In order to realistically approach wedded bliss and live out our calling as man and wife in a biblical marriage, we must recognize six common myths:
1) Myth: Because I’m in a Christian marriage, I’m going to have a perfect marriage.
Truth: Just because you know Christ doesn’t mean there won’t be attacks from the enemy against you. Paul reminds us numerous times in his Epistles that even as Christians we will face hardships. John 10:10 tells us “the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Only with God can you have a strong, healthy marriage. You can’t do it on your own and if you think you can, you are misled. You don’t have within you the capabilities, but if you stay committed to God, you will develop the mentality that you’re going to stick to this no matter what.
2) Myth: Certain behaviors or faults can be changed once marriage takes place.
Truth: People cannot “create” a spouse. It’s important to marry someone for who they are, not what you think you can turn them into. Second Corinthians 6:14states: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
Teams that accomplish great things are those who are unified in their purpose and goals. This is true for marriages, too. If your spouse doesn’t follow Christ now it is likely they won’t in the future.
Source: Crosswalk | Jay Lowder, Jay Lowder Harvest Ministries