A Few Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Single Mom


1. “Vegas! Tomorrow! Come!” 

No. Can. Do.

2. “Did you consider an abortion? I would have had an abortion.”

This kind of statement often follows some kind of remark about how I don’t look old enough to have a kid. Rarely am I asked the details surrounding my life, like whether I was/am married or not. Choosing to have a child, regardless of the circumstances, does not automatically make me a part of your hypothetical moral dilemma at this cocktail party where we just met. I only forgive you because you’re drunk, but it doesn’t mean we can be friends.

3. “You’re not bringing the kids … are you?”

You said it was lunch, you said it was poolside, you said there’d be babes. Now I get it; too late, we’re halfway there.

4. “You should have thought of that before you had kids/ got divorced.”

Whatever it is I’m struggling with as a single parent (dating, divorce proceedings, getting enough sleep), I’m probably looking for you to say something supportive, not self-righteous. A lot of people say this stuff to be funny, but it’s probably best to take your comedy in a different direction.

5. “My partner is gone for the weekend, so I know just what it’s like.”

A common and well meaning sentiment. It’s OK, I know what you’re trying to say. I was just thinking the other day how closely connected to dragons I feel because I watch Game of Thrones. 

6. “You should date a single dad!”

I totally agree! He should be just like Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle or Liam Neeson in Love Actually or — even better — Jude Law in The Holiday! I’ll just start swiping right on that single-parent dating app we’re all using.

7. “How do you do it? I would just die.”

You wouldn’t just die. No one, in history, has just died from the day-to-day tasks of being a parent, single or not. You would rise to the challenge, just like I did, just like people do all around the world every day. Don’t feel sorry for me; I love my life! OK, sometimes The Wiggles make me want to die, but it’s nothing a glass of wine can’t help me with after the kids are in bed.

8. “Is dating weird now that your vagina is, you know, stretched?”

I wouldn’t even dignify this question with an answer except that it has been asked of me more than once. First of all, please don’t make assumptions about my lady parts. Second, women have been dating and getting laid for thousands of years, yes, even after they give birth, even multiple times!

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SOURCE: Eve Sturges