Tooth Fairy Movie Review

Derek Thompson is the Tooth Fairy. 

That's what his fans call him anyway. And he's worked hard to earn the moniker. A linebacker on skates, he's a hulking minor-league hockey player who has one simple job: Hit the opposing players as hard as physically possible. And if some of his opponents' teeth just sort of pop out in the process, then so be it. Who cares if he has to spend most of his game time in the penalty box?

Derek Thompson is also a dream smasher. 

This sorehead skater has had some rough luck. A shoulder injury got him dropped from the majors and relocated in his current lowly role of muscular meat on skates. And he's none too happy about it. 

So when some kid comes by and spouts silly dreams of greatness, Derek is more than happy to squash them. He's the first to recount all the negative things that are bound to happen, and then bursts their bubble with a straightforward, "Lower your expectations, kid. That's how you'll be happy!" 

When Derek almost lowers the boom on his girlfriend's little daughter, though--moving in to slice and dice her silly notion that there's any such thing as a Tooth Fairy--he crosses a line. And the good fairies of fairy land decide it's time to teach this lunkhead a lesson. So that night, as he sleeps, he's magically whisked away to a fairy training school and given a good dressing down. 

He's also dressed up ... with wings, a frilly fairy outfit and a tool belt full of fairy necessities--such as shrinking paste and an all-purpose magic wand--and ordered to collect little tykes' lost teeth for the next two weeks.

The beefy bruiser balks, but he doesn't have a choice, really. In fact, he's told that he'll be working the tooth detail an additional week for every assignment missed. So, for the next two weeks ...

Derek Thompson is the Tooth Fairy.

The old casting-against-type routine must be starting to wear a bit thin for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson--as thin as, say, the pink tutu and gossamer tights the hulking actor dons in hopes of eliciting a chuckle or two. In the same vein, I'm sure the film's writing team thought a mixture of smashmouth violence and fluffy-winged schmaltz would be a real hoot, too. But, sorry guys, it all ends up feeling pretty flimsy, and at some points as painful as, well, a toothache. 

Is there anything worth chewing on? 

Sure. Tooth Fairy contains a few encouragements about working hard and reaching for your dreams. And there's a nice side story that promotes trying to connect with angry kids and communicates the joys of forming a new family. In fact, all these bits probably would have made for a pretty good matinee if they had been given a little more screen time.

But it's the rambling and eye-rolling Tooth Fairy frippery that ends up at center ice. It's ostensibly aimed at shooing off adult cynicism, but, as you can tell, in my case it just made matters worse. Will kids eat up 90 minutes of this saccharine goofiness? Maybe. But even to them it'll be as wispy and forgettable as sugar-free cotton candy.