Friends play an extremely important role in our lives, and this remains true after we’re married as well. We need to cultivate good, true, loyal and honest friendships that not only bring out the best in us but also bring out the very best in our marriage.
On the other hand, we need to stay away from toxic friendships that have the potential to harm our marriage.
We often become like the people we hang out with the most.
We’re certainly going to have friends from various walks of life—and this is a good thing—but we can’t allow ANY of them to harm our marriage.
So, how can we recognize a “good” friend from a “bad” one? We have to understand the kind of friendship behaviors that negatively impact our marriage.
Here are the 4 friends that are bad for your marriage:
1. The friend who talks badly about HIS/HER spouse
When I was growing up, my mom would sometimes point out that I sounded like some of my friends. She’d say things like, “You are never this whiny. You’ve been around ______ too much.” I thought she was just nagging me at first, but then I would catch myself in the act. It’s crazy how we will often take on similar behaviors to the company we keep.
When it comes to our marriage, we must surround ourselves with people who WANT to have a good marriage. During more vulnerable times, we might find ourselves complaining about our spouse to one of our friends. It’s bound to happen a time or two. But, this CANNOT become the norm. It’s toxic to our friendship AND our marriage.
2. The friend who talks badly about YOUR spouse
This may seem like a no-brainer, but I’ve talked to too many couples who have so-called “best friends” who constantly bash their spouses. This simply CAN’T happen.
We need to let our friends know that it’s NOT OK to call our spouse names or complain about what he/she does or does not do for us. It perpetuates a negative cycle in our minds and hearts and creates an unhealthy codependent friendship that will harm our marriage.
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Source: Church Leaders