I was talking to a man the other day. He’s injured. Not severely. He will survive. Hopefully. The wounds aren’t deep. Right now. But, he is injured.
It’s an emotional injury. Sometimes those are the worst kind of hurts.
The person doing the injuring: His wife. And she, most likely, doesn’t even know she’s doing it.
I’m not. It happens all the time. She’s probably injured too. And, he doesn’t even know he’s doing it to her. Marriages are made of two very different, imperfect people. Plus, we often injure most those we love the most.
My friend is newly married. Over the course of the last few months he’s began to realize how many things his wife is saying and doing that are causing him to pull away from her. He even recognizes his reaction as a defense mechanism. Rather than start a fight, he withdraws. And, he’s withdrawn to the point that he was willing to admit his hurt, which is difficult for any man to do. I was proud of him for being humble enough to ask if this was normal in a marriage.
It didn’t take long before I realized, however, this marriage is heading for disaster if they don’t address their issues soon. There’s a great chance she has questions about the relationship also. Thankfully, they’re in a great season to ask hard questions, learn valuable lessons and strengthen the marriage.
I should be clear. This is not a counseling blog. And, this couple needs counseling. Even though I have a degree in counseling, this is simply a blog where I want to help people. Mostly that’s by addressing leadership issues, but sometimes I address the issues dealing with relationships—families, marriage and children—because, those issues impact us and also our leadership.
Which lead me to this post—addressing the ways wives injure their husbands without even knowing it. It’s a little sarcastically written, partially because that was easier, partially because I can tend to be that way, but mostly because it hopefully illustrates harsher realities in a gentler way. (Again, I realize this works both ways. As a man, I feel most prepared to address this side of the issue. I’ll consider a companion post after I consult my wife.)
Source: Charisma News
Ron Edmondson is a church planter and pastor with a heart for strategy, leadership and marketing, especially geared toward developing churches and growing and improving the kingdom of God. For the original article, visit ronedmondson.com.